Tomorrow I will be resigning from a position that I have held for nine years (off and on). This is very difficult because I need to work only part time because I am going to school full time in order to receive my degree faster because I am under a time limit because of some issues and choices of my past that are effecting me now. I did find a good part time job that will fit my needs currently but not something I would like to do forever just until I get my degree finished or continue another degree, but it will help me with my schooling, family, and stress level. I don't know how my company will react since this will be not my first time leaving this company, but I feel that I am no longer growing in this position and no opportunities for advancement at this company, so I feel that it is time to move on. I am praying that they will respect my decision I have made and be understanding. I also am afraid to tell my co-workers because I know they were excited to have me return to work full-time but I have realized some very important things in the last months that my career has been a roller coaster ride. I must put my family and my needs first above a career. I can obtain a higher career but at what cost right at the moment. It may be right later but I don't think it is right at this moment. I feel that God gave me this job for a very specific reason and I must let go of the past, the past 6 months of my roller coaster career changes, and job changes. I must let go of my dysfunctional childhood and past. I have to let go and let God because the past is no longer here. I am here in the moment and I need to stop wasting time on the past whether that was my decisions or what happened to me in the past. I must make choices and accept the choice I made and deal with each one I make. I must start realizing what really is important in life. So I am praying that my life is in God’s hands and he will do the best with me and I know he is not finished with me yet. I have been through a lot in my life and I think God has always been in control of my life I just want to say it, because I like to control everything especially because of my childhood on having no control of what was going to happen next. I do this control thing with my husband, and child sometimes and I must stop and let them have some control. I try to control everything in my life, finances, sex, what we buy, money, and whatever else and by doing this I never feel relaxed. I am starting to learn I actually have never had control in the first place. God was in control the entire time. I have free choice but God knew what I was going to do before I did it. I am starting to see myself and what choices I make how it affects others around me. I have a wonderful work ethic such as job and at attending college, but I sometimes lack at home. I am trying so hard to find a balance and it is a battle each day. So hopefully getting this job will help me balance again in life. I guess I will see how my last two weeks will go after trying to help me and my family rather than the other way around.
Posted on Jan 23, 2012 | Prayer Request