Lost and Depressed

Forgive my selfish request for your prayers,when so many others are in far more pain than I. A botched surgery leading to 6 additional major operations left me disabled in 03.I turned 50 in Feb.and feel as I did (mentally & emotionally) before nearly dying 3 times in 02-03.Physically I sometimes struggle to get out of bed,my spine is twisted like tree roots around nerves leading to my legs,the pain is unbearable,yet NOTHING compared to what Jesus suffered on the Cross for us! I feel unworthy to even complain. I have difficulty walking,sitting,eating,breathing and sleeping.I so badly want to get on the floor and play with my precious grandchildren,walk with them outdoors discovering creatures along the shoreline of my little rented house on a small lake.There is so much nature to enjoy,I want to vollunteer again,plant flowers,socialize with family and friends and fall in love again. I see a hidious monster in the mirror,hunched over lost teeth due to the bone loss of osteoporosis,I have lost over 60 lbs.and 4 in.in height,my clothes hang off,my bones poke out BUT I want to stop seeing only the negative,society puts so much on appearance which leaves me ashamed to smile or be seen at all.I was fortunate to be a stay at home mom and didn't work for nearly 10 yrs.that affected the amount of SSI/Disability,while I am grateful,I am struggling also with trying to survive on $658 a mo. much less pay for dentures or clothing to make me confident enough to be seen. I ask for your prayers to heal my lungs & allow me to breathe well enough to walk with my family.As well as this hateful depression that leaves me simply existing, rather than truly living.Thank you for taking the time to read this, may God Bless you all and answer your prayers...Peace and Blessings

Posted on Mar 30, 2012 | Prayer Request


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